I smiled when the driver asked me if I had a cold. Both of us knew I was crying on board the shuttle to the Los Angeles International Airport from the place that was home for two years. I am not sure if I could not hold my tears back because I was leaving or because there was not a single person to bid me farewell or to help me get the luggage out. I made it home through twenty-one hours with fellow passengers who made sure I had to get up right when I was halfway through a dream, trying to sleep in the most uncomfortable positions. I was delighted that I was finally taking a transatlantic flight which would mean that I have circled the entire earth once, starting from Bangalore through Hong Kong, Los Angeles, Dubai and back to Bangalore again. Flying from Dubai made me feel like I was going back home from a short trip to somewhere else in India, owing to the huge number of Indians there.

I always thought being thin is the only thing I had going for me in the looks department. It looks like 2017 is going to make me work really hard for that too, and being at home the entire first month of the year, fed all my favorite foods by my mother when I am supposed to be making weight-loss resolutions and adhering to those, definitely did not help. She often went on cooking marathons while I was there, spending all her waking hours in the kitchen.

Though I had promised myself that I would stay at home as much as possible during my stay which lasted more than a month, I was out meeting friends and catching up often. I was on an imperative, relaxing break this time as opposed to the last time I was home when I was not sure what next. I travelled all the way to Mangalore on a whim to meet a childhood friend and spent a Sunday amid doctors who cannot stop discussing medical terminologies at the slightest inclination.

As is tradition, I went on a week-long trip to Kerala too. I traveled alone to Palakkad from Bangalore on a night train finally, probably a sign that everybody recognizes me as a ‘grownup’ now. Running around the house with my nine year old cousin to keep him from boredom proved the opposite though. I have found that the best way to keep my anxiety at bay while traveling alone is to find a family and make conversation with them. More often than not, they will treat you like you are one of them throughout the rest of the journey. A family on their way to a temple took it upon themselves to take care of me on my onward journey to Kannur. The regular passengers on the train were as astonished as I was when the train stopped abruptly, did not move for over an hour and took us back to a railway station that we had just passed by. This is the first time I had to change trains at a station in the middle of nowhere on course of a journey, and consequently reach my destination a couple of hours late. I was proud of myself,  having handled the situation nicely without panicking and boasted about it without letting anybody into the fact that the incessant phone calls to my parents are what helped me stay calm.

I know a lot of people who are afraid to laugh too much or savor the good times because they think it will soon give way to harsher times and they will have to repent for being happy. I bought into this belief a little bit when I along with three other friends met with an accident while heading back home from a wedding reception where we danced to our heart’s content. We were not sure if we had to be grateful that all of us escaped without anything as much as a scratch on our bodies or to be worried about a person who was hit by another car and died later. Though it did not have a huge impact on me, I was afraid to be on the road in a car or on a two-wheeler for some time after that, especially after dark.

I put this one bad dream and a lot of good times behind me as I flew back to the USA and reached San Jose, the city where my professional career begins. A week into work and I only hope that each day offers me something exciting for as long as I am here.